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Time drive summary. Gleb Arkhangelsky - Time Drive




Probably, there is hardly a parent who would not face this question one way or another. Indeed, what to do?

First, you should think about it without unnecessary emotions. In the best way, the difficulties that have arisen are solved in a calm and balanced state. Do you want to see your child calm and confident? Everything is mutual here - the child needs a calm and confident parent. First of all, a parent who is confident in the success of his child.

Secondly, you need to ask yourself the question: why doesn't he want to?

Pay attention to the following two points:

1) whether there was a quarrel between classmates;

2) whether there was a conflict with any of the teachers.

Although it is possible that the reason for the sharp decline in interest in learning lies outside the school - this also needs to be clarified. However, it is important to be tactful and delicate here. Direct questions like: “Who did you quarrel with? Come on, tell me!” undesirable - any quarrel is already painful for the child, and it is not easy to talk about it. Here it is better to wait for the moment when the teenager is more “disposed” to such a story. In a conversation, do not evaluate his actions and do not give advice. Just sympathize with him:

- And he will hit me like that! Never! Just!
- You were confused - you did not understand why this happened to you. "Just like that" - you thought ...
- Yes! Exactly! Well, of course, I also ... gave change ... and called ...
You were trying to protect yourself...

Thirdly, the decrease in learning motivation probably does not apply to all academic subjects.

What subject causes especially unpleasant feelings? Why? Because of the teacher? What subject do you like? Why?

It is possible that you once liked this subject (and perhaps continue to like it). Try to study together, and for starters it is better to use game motivation - draw together, remember (who is more?), invent - use any game. The more laughter and fun (especially for you) - the better for the child. Perhaps, after some time, to your surprise, you will get carried away ... Your passion and desire is the key to success. By the way, nothing makes a family as friendly as joint activities that bring pleasure.

And what to do if the educational material is very neglected, and this notorious educational motivation has been absent for a long time?

This situation is more complicated - it is always more difficult to restore than to build from scratch. The mountains of learning material to be relearned are too large, and tutors are expensive. Bet on newly studied (biology, chemistry, history) and "light" (technology, MHC) subjects. And remember - your live participation is necessary. Without you, a child with neglected educational material is unlikely to start learning on his own.

Go to school, talk to the teacher. An intelligent teacher, perhaps, will not only see the child's abilities (for example, in biology), but, most likely, will willingly support him - he will give the task to prepare an interesting report, support, praise. And this is a great incentive to develop interest in the subject and not only. Also - to feel knowledgeable, appreciated, needed, smart, competent, i.e. boost self-esteem. A child with such a feeling, of course, wants to be more often where it, this feeling, arises, in this case, such a place is a school.

By the way, testing shows that quite often a teenager with running educational material evaluates himself in terms of the “mind” position (in his understanding of the amount of knowledge) much lower than his classmates, but higher in terms of “ability”. Such self-esteem is a resource - your child correctly sees that he is capable and talented. The difficulty is that he wants to immediately, without effort, in the blink of an eye, become the same “smart”, i.e. knowledgeable, like his peers. In this situation, the parent must: a) draw up a step-by-step action plan together with the child (task - what do I do - what result do I get); b) pull up only one object chosen by the child; c) provide assistance and monitor implementation; d) to encourage every, even if insignificant, success of the child. Here the parent will need all his courage, strength, patience - of course, progress can be slow, there can also be breakdowns, failures.

Most importantly, don't give up. There have been more difficult situations in your life that you have successfully dealt with (How did you manage it? What methods helped you then? How much time did you spend on it?). It’s not worth it, time, to regret, and everything that you invest in a child’s soul will be rewarded a hundredfold ...

Tatyana Shcherbakova

Every parent dreams that their child will reach great heights in his life. And perhaps the main condition for a bright future, many see successful education in school years. Unfortunately, most parents sooner or later face the fact that children, for various reasons, do not want to study. Why does this happen, what is the difference between unwillingness to study at different ages, and how to deal with this problem?

From birth to school: teach to learn

The most important thing for solving the problem of "why the child does not want to learn" is to establish the reason for this reluctance. If the true reason is known, then you are already halfway there.

Curiosity, the desire to learn about the world around us, to gain new knowledge are inherent in nature in every person. Without this, development is impossible. A small child, being born, learns from the first minutes, absorbing knowledge about himself and the world around him. A baby learns every minute of his life, and it depends on the adults around him whether he will keep this desire to know the world the same as at the beginning of his life, or whether this natural need will turn into a routine necessity, which means it will become uninteresting and unnecessary. That is why psychologists note that in a child from a very young age, it is necessary to support and stimulate the desire to learn something new. And here we mean not only developmental activities that have become very popular in recent years. Of course, such activities are necessary and very useful, but with one small “but”: if they are interesting to the child himself, and not only necessary for the mother to show off to friends and relatives.

Often a child can get a more valuable experience of learning a new one by watching the flight of a butterfly, playing in the sandbox or stomping through puddles and splashing water. Therefore, psychologists advise parents from the very beginning to help the child explore the world on his own (do not prohibit or restrict if there is no threat to his safety), teach him to notice details, stimulate his curiosity, and not chase results at any cost. Praise more often, not only for the result, but even for a simple desire to learn something new or master some skill, do not scold or punish if something does not work out, do not force, help and do together what is really interesting to kid. After all, the desire to learn something new is the desire for learning, just over time, as the child grows up, the forms of learning change. At first it is a game, an interesting adventure, later - schoolwork. And remember that personal example is the best teacher. If parents themselves read a lot, constantly improve themselves and their knowledge, then the child will try to keep up.

6 to 10: How not to waste your curiosity

As a rule, in the first years at school, most children study without much difficulty, and problems with learning appear at the age of 10-12 with the onset of adolescence. Although there are times when a child is already in the second grade, or even by the middle of the first year at school, loses interest in learning. Why is this happening?

Excluding rare cases of any neurological or other diseases that interfere with learning, the most common reason for not wanting to learn is the lack of interest in the subject. Simply put: the child is simply not interested. Perhaps the child is a "humanist" at heart, and his parents sent him to a school with a mathematical bias. Therefore, it is so important to know the interests and inclinations of your child and try to take them into account.

Sometimes a child cannot master a large amount of material, because he still wants to play, run, and not sit over a book. Simply put, the baby is not yet ready for school. And the point is not only in physical data, but in psychological readiness for learning. It is to determine the degree of readiness for school that there are various tests. They are offered to go in the spring to those who are going to school in the fall. If there are any problems, then in most cases they can be solved with the help of a professional psychologist.

In addition, the child may lose interest in learning due to excessive parental control. Therefore, experts advise parents, and especially grandparents, not to go too far. Notations, criticism, moralizing and constant tips from behind the shoulder can piss off not only a child, but also an adult. Psychologists recommend allowing children a little distraction from the educational process, 1.5-2 hours after school hours to relax, play, work out their children's affairs. And only after that sit down for homework. In addition, adults are not advised to constantly sit over the child while he does homework. After all, this is also a kind of total control. The help of adults is needed only at the very beginning, when the student is just learning to organize his learning activities at home. Over time, the role of adults is reduced to checking completed tasks or helping if difficulties arise. In extreme cases, an adult can stay close to the child while he performs tasks, while doing his own thing.

Sometimes the reason for the loss of interest in learning can be problems within the family. Such situations are quite stressful for the child, and therefore everything else fades into the background. Sometimes a child does not want to study, thus attracting the attention of adults, who are mostly busy with personal affairs. In such situations, parents can help their child by changing their attitude towards him and towards each other.

Teenagers and studies

As mentioned earlier, the peak of unwillingness to learn in children falls on the period of transition, adolescence. Then family relationships fade into the background, and personal relationships with peers and adults become the most important. Problems can start when a student is 10-12 years old. There is a hormonal restructuring, growing up, the transformation from a child into an adult. At this time, the opinion of classmates is much more important for him, and not mom and dad. It happens that children abandon their studies in order not to be branded as a "nerd" or because of strained relationships with friends. At this time, complexes associated with appearance are also actively developing, this can also interfere with successful study. Conflicts with adults are not uncommon in such a period, and we are talking not only about the home environment, but also about teachers. And this is another reason for the lack of interest in learning. And, of course, do not forget about hormones. Boys and girls aged 13-15 are often more interested in each other than in their studies. What should adults do?

The advice is the same as before: to help and motivate, not to criticize, force and punish. But for a teenager, the motivation should be different. Help the child understand and deal with what he is really interested in, what his soul is for, do not judge, but try to understand and support. Do not expect super-marks from him in school subjects, as it was before. But insist that all tasks are completed on time and completely.

Most importantly - do not forget that this young rebel is your favorite child. And your main task at this time is to help him overcome the transitional age with the least losses, enter adulthood with the necessary and useful knowledge, become an educated and, most importantly, happy person.

Especially for - Ksenia Boyko

The beginning of the school year is usually an exciting and joyful time. First graders finally get to know what it's like to sit at a desk, and older schoolchildren meet up with classmates they've missed so much over the summer. However, the September enthusiasm will soon subside, and the educational process will return to its usual track. And this is where parents of schoolchildren often become discouraged: their children do not want to study, and absolutely! Old enough to express their own opinion on the "school" topic, they (generally rightly) resent the daily early rises, uninteresting subjects, unnecessarily demanding teachers. So moms and dads have to relive their own school years, constantly “kicking” a negligent child towards school and lessons.

So, you have a problem with an extremely simple formulation: the child does not want to learn. What should parents do in such a situation, by the way, very common?

The child does not want to study at all: are you sure about this?

Do you know where the term "school" comes from? This is a Greek word that originally sounded like schole (schola) and had the meaning of "leisure, free time, reading, conversation, leisure time." Ancient Greek philosophers invited people to such "classes" where they shared their knowledge and experience. The meetings of the teacher and students took place near the temples, in the cool shade of the trees, and the conversations were calm and unhurried. Feel the difference with the modern school? The current system of education is so far from the original one that the lack of desire to learn from a child is a completely normal reaction.

The school does not take into account the needs of each individual student. Its main goal is to put a certain amount of facts, figures and skills into the minds of students. The school as a system, and teachers as its obedient executors, need obedient children who will not object, express their own opinion, and do what they like. In principle, parents want about the same thing: for the child to absorb the necessary and unnecessary information for 11 years, do what is required of him and get good grades. And children are more sincere than we are, and directly protest against the knowledge imposed on them in the form of an ultimatum. Remember yourself! Did you really enjoy all the school subjects and daily homework? Hardly. And the educational system itself has changed far from for the better.

If you look at the root of the problem, it becomes obvious: in reality, ALL children want to learn. Another question is why and how. Do not rush to scold the child, shame him and hang labels (“you are lazy”, “you are only interested in computer games”, “you only need to chat in class”, etc.). Try to understand the reasons for what is happening - from the main one, associated with the negative aspects of schooling in principle, to other possible problems for the child.

Why does the child not want to study?

Children cannot choose the disciplines they study, their interests are not taken into account by the school, and absolutely no importance is attached to the motivation to study. This is the main reason why the child does not want to study. Unfortunately, we cannot change the school system of education, and home schooling is a rare occurrence, moreover, it has many difficulties and pitfalls. It remains to adapt to the existing educational model and “build” your child into it. In addition, you need to find out if your child has additional reasons for a negative attitude towards school.

So, why a child may not want to learn:

  • antipathy towards one or more teachers (and possibly even conflict);
  • problems in relationships with classmates;
  • boredom from educational monotony and fatigue;
  • difficulties with a specific subject (does not understand, does not have time, the subject is uninteresting);
  • the problem of getting up in the morning.

Education in a modern school is a difficult, but generally feasible task. The role of the student's parents is not to do homework for him or even together with him. To begin with, it is worth helping the child cope with side problems that distract and complicate the school life. But the motivation for learning needs to be dealt with separately.

What if the child does not want to study? How to help him?

Naturally, loving mothers and fathers usually seek to help their own child, especially in such an important matter as studying. If you decide to seriously understand what is preventing your student from learning, great. Of course, first of all, it is necessary to talk confidentially with the child, to find out what is most unpleasant for him at school, why the desire to study has disappeared and what, in his opinion, can be done to change the situation. We hope that you do not consider your child a malicious slob, seeking to do everything to spite you. Talk to him as an adult, for sure this conversation will help you better understand each other.

What should parents do when finding out the following reasons for not wanting to study:

1) There are problems in the relationship of the child with classmates

Communication with classmates is an important part of a student's life. And if the relationship does not add up (or he cannot really make friends with anyone), this leaves an imprint on the educational process. Remember how difficult it can be for you, as an adult, to focus on work when your head is full of personal or domestic problems. Do not scold the child that he "suffers because of nonsense." Try to build a trusting and sincere relationship with him. Knowing that the family will always support him, the student behaves much more confidently and gradually copes with problem situations on his own. In extreme cases, parental intervention may be required.

2) "Stumbling block" - in a particular subject or teacher

Often the problem with the study of any subject is connected with its leading teacher. A creative, benevolent teacher usually arouses interest both in his own person and in the discipline he teaches. And the subjects of a teacher who does not like himself will be uninteresting and unloved. If your child shows a clearly negative attitude towards one of the subjects, looks depressed, if this lesson is ahead, you need to figure out what exactly the problem is and be sure to solve it.

Bad relationships with one of the teachers are not uncommon. It happens that the child is really bad at the subject, but insists that the teacher finds fault with him. Another situation is also possible: your son or daughter fell into the category of “unloved” students. Yes, teachers are ordinary people who are sometimes unfair. Changing teachers is usually not very realistic, so something will have to be done. Listen to the child's complaints and try to be objective. Do not agree that the "historian is a fool" because she put a deuce. So you simply give the child to understand that you can speak rudely about another person. Help a student with a problematic subject, and if the situation does not improve, you will have to talk with the teacher himself or with the class teacher.

3) Child has difficulty getting up early

The problem of early rises is familiar to many parents. Pushing a negligent child to school, they fall into real despair. The ringing of the alarm clock, mother's persuasion, bright light and even screams do not work at all. And they won't work! Your child wants to sleep in the morning, and the negative from morning scandals is added to the unpleasant sensations of awakening through force. Talk to your student seriously, but not early in the morning when everyone is nervous and in a hurry.

Your conversation with your child might look something like this:

You don't feel like getting up in the morning for school, do you?

Well, yes, it's hard to wake up early, and even these lessons again! Tired of it all!

Of course, it’s not easy, I understand… And if you studied in the second shift, from 14 o’clock, would it be better?

Don't know. Then after all, the lessons would end late ...

Here you see. What can you do to make it easier for you to get up?

You should probably go to bed early...

As you can see, in such a dialogue you do not scold the child, but listen to his point of view and invite him to decide on the solution to the problem himself.

For your part, remind the child in the evening that it is time for him to sleep. A clear “clear time” will benefit all family members.

4) Fatigue and health problems

Studying at school, especially when combined with various extracurricular activities, can cause serious stress, fatigue and overwork in a child. Often parents mistake them for laziness and apathy and scold the student.

Fatigue can be physical, mental or emotional, depending on the child's temperament and the type of primary activity. Children who attend sports clubs in addition to school can get really tired while on the move all day. Cancel extra classes for a while and watch your child.

A lot of reading, diligent students often experience mental overload. They become distracted, forgetful, poorly focus attention. If you notice these "symptoms", try to increase physical activity and the amount of time your child spends in the fresh air.

Especially excitable children or those who have every day scheduled by the hour can be emotionally tired. Lessons, a music school, a swimming pool, a circle... The immature psyche of a child simply cannot cope with such a load. Increase the hours of quiet rest, walk more together. Minimize the TV and computer in the life of a student.

5) The child says that he is “bored”, “tired”, “too lazy” to study

It's good that the child is honest with you. And boredom and laziness are a normal reaction of a person to daily being within four walls, where he is forced to study, and after school also to do his homework. After all, the student has absolutely no right to choose whether to study or not. Adults can theoretically always quit and change jobs, but what about children? They simply have to be obedient... Yes, parents have their own problems, but still listen to the opinion of your own child and try to help him.

The main problem of modern schoolchildren is the lack of motivation and interest in learning. Unfortunately, it often happens that even a first-grader child does not want to study. Parents enthusiastically told him about the school, and he was looking forward to the school year. And after a few months or even weeks, I realized that studying was not at all what he had imagined. What can we say about teenagers - they are really "bored" to learn. Incentives at school are usually negative: “if you write a bad test, you will get a three in a quarter,” “if you study for two, you will get a certificate instead of a certificate,” etc. Adult people who work and receive a salary are usually motivated morally or financially. Unfortunately, things are different with schoolchildren.

What should parents do? Maximize your interest in learning. Scolding the school, education and teachers is useless. However, for your part, you can do a lot, and this much is not the same as doing homework with your child or even instead of him.

How can you make your child want to learn?

Some parents complain: "The child does not want to learn anything!". We assure you, this is absolutely not the case. Of course, much depends on the age of the child, but complete indifference to the new and learning in the good sense of the word is extremely rare even among adolescents. Most likely, your student's lack of cognitive interest is due to his lack of understanding that the process of recognition can be very exciting.

In fact, it is necessary to think about the future, including education, from an early age of a son or daughter. If you carefully listen to the needs of the child, give him the opportunity to try himself in new endeavors, do not limit him in hobbies, he will probably already have some favorite thing by school age. Drawing, dancing, chemical experiments - it doesn't matter. The main thing is that you really enjoy the activity. If the child is already relatively "big", perhaps a psychologist or career guidance tests will help him find himself.

The presence of a specific hobby in a child will become for him the core, the main "vector" in life. What to do with the rest of the subjects, for example, with mathematics, if your child's sphere of interest is singing and dancing? Explain to the child that the lessons are his job, and the certificate will help in the future to connect life with what he loves by enrolling in the appropriate university. If some subject is given very hard, let it be just "for the certificate", for the sake of evaluation. However, do not make the slogan “Study for five!” the whole goal of your studies. This is pointless and will not bring happiness to the child in life.

Some items, especially those that are not liked by the child, you can make more interesting yourself. Watching a historical film together with parents or buying a bright encyclopedia will help the student look at history with different eyes. Home experiments in physics, chemistry and biology will interest not only the child, but also his parents. And teaching the Russian language and literature in general can go unnoticed if the books in your house are not just a piece of decor gathering dust on a shelf. The example of reading parents works wonders! A child who loves to read will develop intellectually well, even if school is not his favorite place.

Most mothers of schoolchildren feel as if it is not their children who are studying, but they themselves. "How else?" they ask. “If you don’t remind him about the lessons, he won’t do anything! We have to stand "over the soul", to do together, or at least check." In some families, screaming and school-related scandals are a common thing. Although the result of constant conflicts is natural: the child begins to perceive education as a heavy duty or an excuse for manipulating parents.

To make life easier for the whole family by reducing the number of disputes about school, follow the following recommendations from psychologists:

  1. Don't blame, just state the facts. "It's late and the lessons haven't been done yet."
  2. Give the child the right to choose when doing homework: “Which subject do you want to start with, physics or history?”. Tell them that it is better to start work with a more difficult task.
  3. Find compromises. Don't set hard deadlines for doing homework. Agree that it, for example, must be completed by 8 pm, after which you will check it and watch an interesting movie or play a board game with your child.
  4. Don't compare your child to other children. It is not clear what parents are counting on when they say: “But Sasha studies for only five” or “You complain that you are tired, but Christina studies well, and dances in a school ensemble, and goes to art school.” Nothing but anger towards these Sasha and Christina will arise in the child. Moreover, studies will be perceived as a platform for competition with young talents, whom he still cannot defeat.
  5. Talk about your own feelings. Say: “It makes me sad that you watch TV until late at night, forgetting about your lessons” or “I'm worried about your homework: tomorrow you may be called to the blackboard, and you didn’t really learn the topic.”
  6. Do not do homework for the child and do not help with all the tasks. Constant control seems to tell the student: "We consider you dependent, you need help, otherwise you will not succeed." Let the child take the initiative and realize responsibility for their actions.
  7. Show interest in the affairs of the child, encourage each of his successes, and not necessarily expressed in a good assessment. For example, for some children it will be a real feat to perform in front of the whole class - and parents should definitely rejoice with their child at this small victory.

And finally, a small wish to all loving parents: believe your child! He does not want to offend you at all when he says: “I don’t want to study!”. Such phrases are a request for help from mom and dad. Studying in a modern school is really not easy, and sometimes parents have to show enviable restraint and wisdom in order to go through this long-term path with their child. We wish you patience, and your children - motivation to study and craving for knowledge!

This kid doesn't want to study at all! So smart, quick-witted grew up. At the age of 2, he already knew letters and colors. And as he read poetry - everyone on the playground envied. And now, how did they change it ... Why does he have such a dislike for school? Such exclamations of parents are not uncommon. Quite often, psychologists are approached by parents of children who do not want to study, go to school, and do not show interest in learning as such. Mothers and grandmothers (namely, they are often involved in their education) sound the alarm, scold, shame, draw an unseemly future for the “lazy person”, demand, and sometimes it comes to a belt. Then, in powerlessness to do anything, they seek help from a psychologist. Let's try to figure out why children do not want to study, who is to blame for this and what to do.

Possible reasons for not wanting to study

Among the reasons why children do not want to go to school, we can single out the main 5. They should be read by parents who are faced with a similar situation, absolutely impartially, without trying on what was written for themselves. Then, having calmly considered what they read, reflect on how the description resembles the real problems that have arisen in their lives that their children have encountered. In the next section, tips will be given to get out of the described situations.

  • Parents took responsibility for their education.

This case is quite common nowadays. Having given birth to a baby, the mother takes care of his every step, every word, every action. When a child begins to study at school, the mother does homework with him (and sometimes practically for him), collects his portfolio, she is always aware of all school affairs. The child himself is completely deprived of the right to vote, and he also loses the need to think and do something on his own. Everything has already been decided by my mother. Sometimes the grandmother acts as a total "guardian".

How does the mother (grandmother) feel about this? Realizing that it is quite difficult to study at school now, she takes upon herself the right to help a “small, unintelligent” child. Also, the following slogan is currently common among mothers: “I will do everything for my child!” Help and attention is very important for the baby, if you do not go too far.

Another similar situation is total control. It differs from the previous one in that the parent does not seek to do his school duties for the child himself, but constantly gives orders that the baby executes. The process of completing the lessons is regulated over the shoulder by a vigilant controller, the children sit down for lessons not when they want, but when they are ordered, the collection of the backpack also takes place under the insistent "advice" of the dictator. But the result with this behavior of the parents is the same: the son or daughter has no responsibility regarding school affairs.

As a result, the child does not want to study. What is the first thing parents do to ensure that schooling (particularly grades) is not affected? In the first case, guardianship is increased, in the second - control. If you continue in the same spirit, you can "break" the will of the child. And for those who still resist, such behavior causes protests: scandals, conflicts, laziness, absenteeism, dislike for school.

  • Lazy genius.

If a child has outstanding abilities from childhood, parents predict a bright future for him. Imagine their disappointment when a little genius suddenly declares that he is not interested in school and does not want to learn anything. Such children go to classes under duress, and as a result, academic performance suffers. Moms and dads are bombarded with numerous complaints from teachers, and the class teacher asks to take action. And the parents do not know what to do, do not know how to overcome his laziness.

  • Lack of need for new knowledge.

Above was a negative example of overprotection of a child. There is another side of the coin: children who are actually brought up “on the street” may have good natural data regarding mental development, but the lack of parental attention and communication with educated people does not allow such children to develop a cognitive interest. In other words, children do not have the need to learn something new. If, thanks to natural data, they can study well in elementary school, then problems arise in the middle classes - the child does not see the point in learning. And parents often can't do anything about it.

  • Conflict situations at school.

Often children do not want to go to school because of difficulties with classmates or teachers. In this situation, the unwillingness to learn is a secondary factor. The child spends his energy and attention on problems, but there is not enough strength for learning.

  • "Poor sick man."

Children with various illnesses, which are known to the class teacher and teachers, often feign seizures and ailments. All pity them, make indulgences, treat them condescendingly. At home, you can pretend to be sick and not go to class, and if you get tired of studying, you can go to the hospital. The most important thing: no one will strictly ask for absenteeism, a decent grade is “stretched” out of pity. Then a reasonable question arises in the child: why study hard and go to school, if everything will be so?


What to do?

We looked at some of the reasons why a child does not want to study. Now let's move on to the most interesting. What advice can you give to parents? We will analyze it in the same way, according to situations.

  1. With excessive guardianship and control on the part of parents, it is worth listening to a psychologist and letting go of the reins. Many parents will ask themselves: why this measure will work? Will the child roll completely into deuces? It is worth immediately warning moms and dads that taking responsibility for yourself is a long process. At first, academic performance will fall, as the child, having escaped from oppression, will begin to do what he was forbidden for a long time. Then he will feel that being a loser is not so pleasant, and he will take the first steps towards improving academic performance. As soon as the child feels the taste of success, he will no longer be able to refuse it. He will finally come to the realization that making mistakes is not so scary, but getting a reward for work is very nice!
  2. In the case of the lazy genius, the problem is that the gifted child has been praised since childhood for being quick and smart. But this is just a natural given, like hair color or height. He thinks: why should I make an effort, study, in order to get the approval of parents and teachers, if I am naturally gifted and have always admired me just like that? Based on the high potential given at birth, one should learn and acquire knowledge that will be useful in life. This is what needs to be explained to the lazy genius.

    Also, according to the psychologist, if a child clearly differs from his classmates in the level of development and is bored in the classroom, it is worth choosing a specialized school for him, where a complicated program will help him feel the “taste of new knowledge”. This will have a positive effect on performance.

  3. The situation with the lack of need for new knowledge is sad, but quite common. Parents can develop a cognitive interest in a child, but due to the specifics of this situation, this is most often impossible. It will be happiness for the child if the teachers at school instill in him an interest in at least one subject. The one closest to him. Having planted a spark of knowledge in the soul of a child, one can kindle a fire that requires more and more new knowledge. Fortunately, such sensitive and caring teachers are quite common.
  4. If there are problems at school with classmates or a teacher, parents should delicately explain the situation. When all the nuances are clear, you need to think about ways to resolve the conflict. If you cannot do this on your own, you should seek the help of a psychologist.
  5. To avoid the occurrence of such a situation, you should carefully communicate with a child with a chronic illness. We must not allow him to begin to manipulate parents, and this applies not only to the problem when children do not want to go to school, but in general behavior in life. But if a problem has arisen, then convincing a child that it is impossible to live at the expense of the sympathy of others is a titanic work that can drag on for a long time. The best thing to do is to take the advice of a professional psychologist.


Underlay straws, or how to prevent an unpleasant situation

Often a child's soul is darkness for parents. The advice of a psychologist will help to understand the possible reasons for the rejection of school and study. But it is always easier to warn than to understand what happened later, to ask the question: “Why?” and think what to do.

Tips for parents of preschoolers will help prevent future reluctance to learn.

  1. Kindergarten age is the time to teach a child to learn, to work. Oddly enough, you need to get used to the process of systematic learning, it should become a constant companion of the baby (and in the future - an adult) in life.
  2. Give your child more freedom to express themselves. From the age of 4, he must dress himself for kindergarten, have household chores, remember to do homework (in kindergartens at this age, kids already have math classes).
  3. Cultivate perseverance in the baby, bring what you started to the end. This applies to crafts, drawings and other similar activities. Only you can not insist and force the child to complete what he started. You can, for example, offer to take a break and return to business later. But be sure to come back to see the result.
  4. When the baby sees the result of his work, he must certainly be praised. Feeling success, he will strive for approval every time. Thus, it will be deposited in his head: in order to receive praise, you need to work hard.
  5. Do not force the child with an abundance of activities and circles, do not deprive him of games and childhood. Thus, from preschool age, you can already discourage the desire to learn.
  6. Do not set high standards for the baby that exceed its capabilities. Failure makes some kids give up. Subsequently, the child will be afraid that as a result of training he will make a mistake and receive a negative reaction from his parents, whose opinion is more important to him than anyone in the world.

What if the child does not want to study? First of all, don't blame him! Adults need to look at the situation, find the cause and think of a solution. If you wish, you can always contact a professional psychologist who will help you figure out what happened and tell you the right way out. Peace and tranquility to your family!

The reluctance to learn can have a completely different nature. However, parents and teachers in their actions should start from what exactly the child does not want to go to school, do homework and generally acquire new knowledge. Consider the possible options.

Learning is too hard

Perhaps the child does not understand and assimilates educational material. Often this happens when you transfer to a new school, after a long absence from school due to illness or because the level of the educational institution does not match the level of preparation of your son or daughter.

Learning is too boring

Sometimes the level of preparation of the student is, on the contrary, too high. He may just be bored in class and not interested in completing tasks that do not require any effort from him.

Conflict with teachers

Unfortunately, this is a fairly common reason for a child's aversion to school and to learning in general. If the teacher and the student, as they say, "didn't get along," finding a way out of this situation can be difficult.

Conflict with classmates

Difficult relationships with "colleagues" in the class can discourage a child's desire to learn for a long time. Sometimes such conflicts quickly resolve themselves. But sometimes they need the intervention of specialists - teachers and psychologists.

Lack of need for new knowledge

Kids today are obsessed with gadgets. Experts say: dependence on them often deprives the child of natural curiosity and craving for knowledge.

Excessive parental control

Sometimes well-meaning parents try to make learning easier for their child. Moms and dads take full responsibility for themselves, controlling every step of the student. At the same time, they lose sight of what they thereby deprive him of interest in the process and result of learning.

Health problems

Does the child have poor sleep and appetite, does he wake up with difficulty and quickly lose strength even after simple work? It is worth paying close attention to the state of his health by contacting a pediatrician.

Loss of motivation

Sometimes in the process of learning, the child loses motivation. In adolescence, children begin to rebel against the pressures of the curriculum, and sometimes even the very idea of ​​getting a high school diploma. This period must be experienced by trying to explain to the child the importance of school education. If the problem is acute, consult a child psychologist.

Comment by psychologist Maria Burtman:

One of the most important factors influencing the level of learning motivation is the age of the child. The highest level of motivation is usually found in elementary school, especially among first-graders: here is the long-awaited new status, the novelty of the situation, and the curiosity inherent in age.

If a child refuses to attend elementary school, especially first grade, there are usually two types of reasons. This is either insufficient psychological and physiological readiness for school (early age, characteristics of the child), or the problem of social adaptation in the team.

Usually the level of learning motivation decreases at the stage of secondary school. It is lowest in grades 8-9, but in high school, as a rule, it rises again.

What can you do to help your child stay interested in learning? General recommendations for all ages: review and adjust the load, increase the duration of sleep, be sure to include sports and daily walks in the fresh air in the child's schedule. It is important to talk to your child about relationships with classmates and teachers. Listening and thinking about sometimes confusing and not always interesting stories for us adults - sometimes they help to understand the true causes of the problem.

Participation in events - science festivals, olympiads - helps not to reduce interest in learning. Now there are a huge number of them - both face-to-face and online. There are a lot of channels and resources on the Internet, where the tasks are non-standard, and the training is not boring.

Finally, all children want parental approval. Even teenagers, although they carefully hide it.

For younger students the praise of parents and the relationship with the teacher are important - that is, we are looking for “our” teacher and are interested in the achievements of the child.

In middle school relationships with peers dominate, so the environment plays a huge role. By the end of high school, many children stop studying, give up extra activities - sports, music. In such cases, a radical change in extracurricular activities can help. Often a good choice of a new hobby helps a teenager survive a difficult age with minimal losses.

In high school Having clear goals is important. Career guidance, the choice of a university and a set of exams - all this helps the child to return motivation to study.

We wish your children strong motivation and a keen interest in new knowledge!